Why the Perfect Partner Is an Illusion: You Are Never Fully Healed
One lazy morning and a freshly broken heart while browsing the internet is oftentimes enough to fall prey to the ever rising rate of self - promoted healers, licensed therapists, lightworkers and other spiritual staff, who claim that after booking their sessions your fully healed self will automatically attract the right partner with whom you will live in eternal loving peace. Whereas it is surely beneficial to know about our own worst fears and triggers to create and maintain at least the foundation of a healthy relationship, even your best version will STILL be triggered by their best version and even when you keep the balance within, shadow work will always be required.
This is a lifelong, inevitable process when you want to achieve the goals of your soul.
Shadows and other, unhealed issues, even smaller ones as well as energetic disturbances need not necessarily be shown in relationship complications directly, they can manifest themselves in physical weaknesses which then later drown the relationship in sorrows, debts or other challenges, sometimes the beloved partner is already so exhausted from life that they leave by death, not because of cheating or incompatibility.
Still, they left you, even if it is hard to admit. Your partner is gone and death is the one and only competitor who you stand no chance against.
Brace yourself: WE ARE ALL JUST VISITORS in each other´s life and can be gone by tomorrow.
Cherish the moments and learn to enjoy each other more than you fight, yet have an eye on those shadows and keep them in check. Challenge yourself daily by changing your perspective.
Our overall relationship ability is born and developed during our earliest years, with our parents and first caretakers being our prime programmers of both glorious and not so glorious moments, our attachments styles, our inner security, our childhood trauma and our bonding experiences, both within the closest family and our community.
Additional baggage to the emotional baseline of our core being, such as life circumstances, the current socio-economic environment, energetic undercurrents as well as media programming intended to control our mind, causes further fragmentation and dissociation to our already burdened selves. Until we reach young adulthood, most of us, while still feeling completely normal - because blissfully unaware - will have accumulated already a lot of cellular stress, cellular memory and stored emotional trauma in the body.
Far from feeling whole or one with ourselves and further fueled by hormones and libido, we go out to conquer and search for
our "better half", our partner, our lover, our secret therapist and trigger, our co - parent, our friend, our soulmate, our "one -and - only" ... the list of projections, unfilled childhood wishes and pressure from well - meaning friends and family is endless.
Unrealistic expectations, dysfunctional role models, traumatic family origins, complex perceptions during coming of age or purposefully misguided female and male energies are all major factors when we are facing our relationship shadows. And they will rear their ugly glory once in a while, no matter how big the love might be. Rest assured, unless you are in a truly toxic relationship - and all relationships can get toxic during conflict - one of the biggest indicators of true love will actually be the willingness to sustain fighting periods without running away, facing triggers due to hurt, facing the own anger and shame. It is impossible to be concerned or triggered in a relationship without emotional depth, these triggers are meant to be heard, faced and transformed together, so they can lose the grip on both of you. The more you are prepared to fight for a better outcome, the higher your relationship value.
A relationship offers an opportunity for growth, with marriage as a widely accepted container for our internal work, expansion and the ability to grow and nurture a family together. Yet before you even reach a committed, healthy relationship, you need to become aware of all the internal tasks ahead of you:
Are you willing to sacrifice your Ego for learning and growth?
Are you willing to truly embody your divine male and female energies to create a healthy, polarized couple?
Are you prepared to get triggered, feel your naked soul and safe in sharing it?
Are you comfortable in your own sexuality and willing to learn and expose yourself?
Are you willing to give equally in energy?
Even after you have done self - healing alone or during previous partnerships or other therapeutic sessions and are entering a new, committed partnership fully consciously and even after mastering the initial romantic storm as well as the storm for power later on, even years into a seemingly harmonious partnership smaller or bigger woundings may occur, apparently out of nowhere.
Too much harmony can be tricky, it can be the pioneer of comfort and too much comfort chokes the fire needed for growth and polarization.
If there is no more fire within, it will be ignited from the outside to showcase the internal lack of it.
Your whole life, your whole existence, your whole human being, your whole body atoms are on an intense cosmic healing journey.
If you were truly fully healed, you would be immortal, having transformed your earthly body into any matter of your choice, in no more need of food, sleep, air or partnership.
Yes, this has been and can be achieved by humans, from the rainbow body to ascension, the doors to immortality are open for us.
Yet until you are really taking this path, abstain from the belief that your fully healed self will attract a fully healed partner, you will be setting yourself up for misery. Happiness is what YOU believe it is, so do not burden another with the task of providing it for you.
Explain your human needs, meet each other there, learn to fight correctly. Learn to navigate conflict with each other.
Then, raise each other up. No divine spirit tears another one down.
Grow. Evolve.
Stand in your own truth and become yourself, then become one.
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